When You Wish That Conflict Would Disappear
“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17).
There are some things you can avoid in life. You can avoid long lines at the bookstore; just purchase what you want to read online. You can avoid eating a pile of cookies; just don’t buy them. You can avoid getting trick-or-treaters; you can just leave the house on the evening of October 31st. But there are some things in life that you just can’t avoid, no matter how much you don’t like them. Conflict is one of those things. It comes knocking on everyone’s front door at some time or another and it isn’t polite. It just comes right in and sits down on the couch. And, when that happens you have a couple choices: you can allow it to stay and really make a mess of your life and emotions, or you can handle it God’s way and experience peace.
I really dislike conflict and you probably do as well! We can do everything we know to solve conflict with others, which often include trying to avoid the problem by being extra nice. Can you imagine that this may not work? We may come to learn that our avoidance tactics may not help at all. And make us like an insecure victim who’s afraid of people and make other people uncomfortable. Peacemaking and avoiding aren’t the same. Instead, peacemakers are often proactive. They are willing to make the first move toward the person with whom they are having the conflict.
Okay, I know this is difficult. Who likes to have that hard conversation or that difficult meeting? Who likes to be the one who initiates when they would rather retreat and hope the whole messy mess goes away? No one. But the wise person knows that conflict usually doesn’t resolve itself. They know if they refuse to settle the conflict they will personally suffer because they won’t experience peace. And, they also know they will be blessed.
“Blessed (happy) are the peacemakers: for they will be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9).
Peacemakers aren’t just blessed because God commands us to make peace. They are also blessed because the peace they create always comes rolling back to them, filling up their hearts. But holding onto offenses and grudges does the exact opposite. Bitterness and anger have no benefits. There is absolutely no blessing in not handling conflict—or handling it in the wrong way.
Peacemaking takes self-control. It means that I don’t open my mouth and spout off meanness in response to meanness (1 Peter 3:9 …. “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing”). Instead, it takes maturity to hold your tongue or keep your fingers off the computer keyboard when you would rather shoot back a snarky response.
Peacemaking takes courage. Peacemaking takes wisdom. Peacemaking takes maturity. Be that person. Not just for the other person, but for God –and for yourself. You’ll be glad you did.
“A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
Prayer
Lord, help me to be a peacemaker. I want to experience your peace in my life, I want to please you and I want to be a blessing. Give me the courage and the wisdom I need to solve conflict your way. Amen.
Application
Look up the related readings about resolving conflict and put them into action.
Related Readings
Romans 12:18-21; Mark 9:50; Matthew 5:23-24
